✦ Every Major Life Milestone ✦

They deserve a great roast.
We write the lines —
and the speech.

Tell us about them. Get 8 ranked, personalized roast lines — or a full 2–3 minute speech, written and ready to deliver. Done in seconds.

🎂 Milestone Birthday 💍 Wedding Toast 🎖️ Retirement 💼 Office Send-Off 📈 Promotion 📅 Work Anniversary 🚀 Business Launch 💍 Engagement 💍 Anniversary 🍼 Baby Shower 🥂 Bachelor/ette 🎓 Graduation 🏡 Housewarming 🏅 Fitness Milestone 💸 Debt Payoff 🥳 Divorce Party
Write My Roast →

Lines from $6.99 · Lines + Speech from $24.99 · No account required

Three steps. Ten seconds.

Eight lines that'll actually land.

1

Tell us about them

Fill out 7 quick fields — quirks, occasion, your relationship to them.

2

Pick your tone

Keep it Kind, A Little Spicy, or Full Roast. Your crowd, your call.

3

Get your lines — or the full speech

Eight ranked lines ready to deliver, or upgrade to a complete 2–3 minute speech with transitions and a warm close.

Build your roast

Takes about 90 seconds to fill out. Generates in about 10.

1
About them
2
The details
3
Tone & go

💡 Hidden for "Keep it Kind" tone — kind roasts skip this to stay warm.

😊
Keep it Kind
Laughing with them
🌶️
A Little Spicy
Punch with love
🔥
Full Roast
They know it's coming

Preview is free. Full unlock from $6.99.

✦ Sample output — real lines from the generator
Loading example...

Actually used. Actually landed.

★★★★★

"I had nothing prepared for my brother's 40th. Filled this out in 90 seconds, got 8 lines, used 5 of them. Room was crying laughing."

— Jamie R., best man · Milestone Birthday
★★★★★

"The speech bundle was unreal. I just read it out and got three standing ovations. Well, two standing ovations and one person who had to leave because they were laughing too hard."

— Marcus T., maid of honor · Wedding Toast
★★★★★

"Our whole team pitched in for Dave's retirement roast. This nailed every inside joke without us having to explain anything. Worth every penny."

— Priya S., team lead · Retirement
★★★★★

"I'm not a funny person. I know I'm not a funny person. These lines made me look like a funny person. That's the whole product right there."

— Chris M., sibling · Milestone Birthday
★★★★★

"The 'A Little Spicy' tone was perfect for our office send-off. Just enough edge that everyone laughed, not enough that HR got involved."

— Tanisha K., coworker · Office Send-Off
★★★★★

"Tried the $2.99 regenerate when the first batch was good but not quite right. Second batch was perfect. Total spend: $14.98. Best money I've spent this year."

— Derek W., best friend · Bachelor Party

Not sure where to start?

Read our free guides to writing roast speeches for specific occasions.

Weddings
How to Write a Best Man Toast
Tone, structure, and what never to say →
Retirement
How to Write a Retirement Roast
Honour the career, get the laughs →
Birthdays
How to Write a Milestone Birthday Roast
Why age jokes fail — and what works →
Bachelor / Bachelorette
How to Write a Bachelor Party Roast
When Full Roast is finally on the table →
Graduation
How to Write a Graduation Roast
Celebrate the grad, roast the journey →
Office Send-Off
How to Write an Office Farewell Roast
The career, the habits, the legacy →
Promotion
How to Roast a Promotion Party
The climb, the title, what their team thinks →
Work Anniversary
How to Write a Work Anniversary Roast
Tenure, habits, and surviving the meetings →
Engagement
How to Write an Engagement Roast Speech
Before the vows — say what everyone's thinking →
Business Launch
How to Roast a Business Launch
The vision, the pivot, what their team actually thinks →
Debt Payoff
How to Roast a Debt Payoff Milestone
Financial freedom deserves to be roasted too →
Fitness Milestone
How to Roast a Fitness Milestone
The training log, the new personality, the race photos →
New Home
How to Give a Housewarming Roast Speech
Keys in hand, mortgage on mind →
Baby Shower
How to Give a Baby Shower Roast Toast
Warm, funny, and safe for grandma →

View all guides →

FAQ

How do I write a funny birthday roast?

The best birthday roasts are specific, not generic. Focus on one or two real quirks — the habit, the phrase they always say, the hobby they take too seriously. Misdirection is the engine: set up an expectation, then subvert it. Roast Writer handles all of this automatically — just fill in the details about your person and we build the structure for you.

Can I use this for a retirement roast speech?

Yes — retirement is one of our most popular occasions. We have prompts built specifically around retirement humor: career length, what they're leaving behind, how their colleagues will (or won't) cope. Select "Retirement" from the occasion dropdown and fill in their career details for lines that hit differently than generic retirement jokes.

What tone level should I pick for a wedding toast?

For most wedding toasts, "Keep it Kind" or "A Little Spicy" are the safe choices — you're roasting in front of grandparents, in-laws, and people who've never met you. "Full Roast" is better saved for bachelor/bachelorette parties where the crowd is tight and already warmed up.

What's the difference between "Lines" and "Lines + Speech"?

"Roast Lines" ($6.99) gives you 8 ranked personalized roast lines — the jokes themselves. "Lines + Speech" ($24.99) gives you the 8 lines plus a complete 2–3 minute speech with an opening, transitions between jokes, and a warm close. If you need something you can stand up and read word-for-word, get the bundle.

Are the roast lines actually personalized, or are they generic?

They're personalized to the details you enter — their name, quirks, job, occasion, and your relationship to them. We use a 4-layer prompt system that generates 12 lines, then runs an editor pass to cut anything generic or predictable. You get the top 8 that are actually specific to your person.

What if the lines aren't funny or don't fit?

Two options: the $2.99 Regenerate button runs a fresh pass on the same person with different angles, no re-filling the form. If you're still not happy, email us at hello@roastwriter.ai and we'll refund you — no questions asked.

Do I need to create an account?

No account required. Fill out the form, preview 2 free lines, pay via Stripe, and your full results appear instantly. Your session is stored in your browser so you can return to your results without logging in.

What occasions can I write roast speeches for?

16 personal celebration occasions: milestone birthdays (30, 40, 50, 60+), weddings and best man toasts, retirement farewell speeches, office send-offs, work anniversaries, promotions, graduations, bachelor and bachelorette parties, engagement parties, milestone anniversaries, divorce parties and fresh starts, business launches, fitness milestones, debt payoff celebrations, housewarming parties, and baby showers.

Is Roastwriter.ai the same as Roastwriter.com?

No. Roastwriter.ai writes personalized roast lines and speeches for personal milestones — birthdays, weddings, retirements, and similar personal celebrations. Roastwriter.com is an unrelated service for marketing copy. Roastwriter.ai is exclusively focused on personal speeches for real life moments.

How is Roastwriter.ai different from using ChatGPT?

Roastwriter.ai uses a 4-layer prompt framework built specifically for roast writing — a roast architect, character voice writer, speech writer, and editor filter. ChatGPT produces first-draft general content. Roastwriter.ai produces ranked, filtered lines specific to your person. The difference is the same as a rough draft versus an edited result.